Over the years, I have had active conversations with single adults as well as married adults, about what their thoughts are on joint bank accounts as couples and sharing of supposed discrete details with their various spouses.

Some adults whose trust has been bashed irredeemably over the years in some cases, do not share the idea that couples should know that much about each other. They do not in any way share in the idea of a joint bank account.

Some of them asked me, what would happen if they had a joint account, and their partner suddenly makes a huge withdrawal from such accounts without their consents?

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The males among some of these people I had this conversation with, believe that there is no justifiable reason why a man should reveal so much to a woman whom he marries or have a joint account with his partner.

Some of these men believe that letting their wives in on their investments and what they are really worth, could be a big recipe for disaster in such marriages.

One of the men even argued that until a woman gives birth for you as a man, that you should know that she is subject to leave you any day and as such should not know so much about the husband’s wealth, so that the man does not lose out on both sides the day, the worst (divorce) happens.

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Some men told me clearly that we must also normalize the divorce conversation in our society at the moment. They expressed that letting a woman know so much about your finances as a man could hurt you terribly during such periods of your life.

While the above expressed reasons are outrightly valid and well respected by me, I am of the opinion that even if you do not trust the judgement of your partner enough to handle such discrete information, it would be nice if you can package these details as it regards your investments, your passwords to your various bank applications and other delicate details about you, to keep where peradventure any bad thing suddenly happens, which could lead to your death or loss of memory, your family members can easily access all you have worked for, to live their lives when you are no more.

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Some men believe that their wives who have been understanding and considerate all along can suddenly go rogue on them, if they get to know how much they are actually worth. Hence these group of men believe that to maintain the peace at home and to keep to the status quo, these details of investments and passwords have to be kept away from their partners.

While we can agree most committedly that we often have husbands die off first, more often before their wives, living in Nigeria offers you the reality that an accident can happen at any time and its victims are not always selected by gender.

As a woman too, married or single, please do not allow strangers to live large on your resources when anything makes you die suddenly.

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To a woman who suspects the husband of infidelity or to a man who suspect his wife of infidelity or of being acutely selfish and self-centered, you would never see any reason why you should divulge such delicate information to your partner, and this is valid.

The afore mentioned argument is very valid but please in the interest of your aged parents or kids if you both have any together, make provisions for where these family members of yours can easily access these wealth or investments you have made in a case of sudden death.

This writer understands fully that humans differ and that we all see life through different prisms of reality. For couples who do not trust themselves but who have children together, it would be in your interest, to make arrangements for how all you have worked for would be accessed by your family in case of sudden death.

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Nobody prays to die untimely but we must make adequate preparations peradventure the unimaginable happens, so that a stranger doesn’t fleece on your investments and benefits carelessly while the family you left behind, suffers just because they do not have access to the information that would have transformed their lives.

Finally, as a man who is married to a responsible woman, do all you can to make sure that these details are easily accessed by your wife and kids when the time comes. As a woman, if you do not trust your husband enough to share such details with them which is often the case, find succor in your most responsible child and give him/her the custody of these investment documents and passwords. At all times, when making choice of security options for your gadgets, always prioritize passwords over drawing of patterns so that it would be easier for your family to access in case something goes wrong.

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