INTRODUCTION

The 21^st century reality, as it pertains to what influences the choice of whom to love, between sane male and female adults, is baffling to say the least lately.

With the advent of various social media platforms, a lot of lies are being pushed out daily about what relationships should ideally be founded on, even when these unsustainable opinions are etched in lies and deceits.

This explains why you see folks copy unrealistic things online and want to implement in their relationships with their partners, without taking into consideration their realities.

THEN EVENTFUL MEETING

Mr. Aboli is a young Nigerian youth like every one of us, who has his lofty dreams and ambitions despite coming from a modest background.

He is one of those lucky Nigerian youths that works closely with a Nigerian billionaire who, lives in a part of the most luxurious part of Ikoyi, Lagos State.

On this faithful day in Port Harcourt, Mr. Aboli had flown into town with his Principal from Lagos in a private jet.

After seeing to it that his principal had settled in, he stepped out to run a private errand and as such he had to make use of the service of a tricycle motorcycle (Keke Napep) to get to his destination.

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While in the tricycle, he was privy to sit just next to a very beautiful Lady whose beauty could derail the course of a man’s destiny, if not watched closely. She was that pretty and gorgeous. The type D’Banj would classify as “Ms. Endowed”.

Boma was drop dead gorgeous on that day, as she was well dressed, had a strong and seemingly seductive fragrance all over her. A carnal man would ordinarily not resist her appeal.

Mr. Aboli went the way of most male mortals, at such sight of God’s careless, display of artistry on a female body; he instantly pleaded for her phone number, which she obliged him.

THE CHASE

Boma took it upon herself to make sure that Mr. Aboli understood that, even if she wanted to make herself available to a man, that it would not just be a supposed regular guy she met in a random tricycle, picking up passengers along the way. She did this through her subsequent actions.

That she did by not giving Mr. Aboli the attention he badly craved for, for a span of six (6) months despite his series of consistent calls and checkups.

REALITY CHECK SETS IN GRADUALLY

After having tormented Mr. Aboli for six months, she now dared to give him some basic privileges which one of them was now to save his phone number on her phone.

It was after she saved Mr. Aboli’s phone number, that she was able to view his WhatsApp status and this alone, changed the course of their engagement.

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It was at this point that Boma understood clearly, that Mr. Aboli was in the inner space of a Nigerian billionaire in naira. She then relaxed for Mr. Aboli and became a bit nice, to his overtures, despite her being a naturally saucy Lady.

Mr. Aboli shared an adhoc job opportunity on his WhatsApp status, which Boma immediately indicated interest in, and the rest they say is history.

THE SCARY REQUEST FROM A 28 YEARS OLD FEMALE

Having finally accepted Mr. Aboli’s proposal or request to date him, she had to make the young man understand that in her world view, dating her is an employment opportunity for her, for which her lover is supposed to pay her what we can call “monthly dating renewal stipends”.

The request seemed to irk Mr. Aboli but you know how helpless most men can be, when they are dealing with a love interest, whom they are yet to have premium access to, so as to assist them with the exciting task of “stretching their walls”.

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Mr. Aboli agreed to send her the sum of N20,000 monthly, apart from all other perks he was offering her.

This continued for so long, with Boma making all sorts of insane demands from Mr. Aboli. Despite all these poor manifestations, Mr. Aboli remained the nice guy and proceeded with his plans to marry her.

THE RELOCATION THAT BROUGHT REALITY TO BARE

Being that Boma was based in Port Harcourt and in her final year at RSUST, Mr. Aboli made definite plans for her to come over to Lagos and serve specifically in Ikoyi for her National Youth Service Corp programme, which is a one-year compulsory service to the Nigerian State upon graduation from tertiary institutions. NYSC is done by youths who graduate under 30 years of age.

Boma grabbed the option with both hands, as it was the moment she had always prayed for.

While Boma was in Port Harcourt, she always enjoyed the privilege of being picked up from her location with a high-end SUV on the orders of Mr. Aboli and dropped off at any hotel that Mr. Aboli lodged in, whenever he came into town.

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This “soft life treatment” for Boma, was a non-negotiable ritual for Mr. Aboli. He loved doing it.

More so, all through these periods Mr. Aboli told Boma clearly, that he didn’t own any of those cars which always picked her up, as they belonged to his Boss.

He also made her understand that the Hotel Presidential lodging accommodation, was one of the spoils of working with his Boss, as he personally did not bear the bills himself.

After she had relocated to Lagos from Port Harcourt, Mr. Aboli and Boma cohabited actively during the period of her NYSC.

It was at this point that it dawned on Mr. Aboli, that beyond the glitz and glamour all over Boma, that she was terribly bad at home keeping and had such a poor personality, coupled with her absolute lack of regard for people.

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It was so bad that Boma did not wash her own clothes herself. She always piled up her dirty clothes, for premium laundry services by an elderly woman who come around during the weekends to wash them. Let us not talk about the dishes either or how she breathed down hard on her staff.

In all these, you would be mean and devilish to classify Boma as a loose woman though. She was obviously not sleeping around with men prior to this time. She earned her own money but had an appetite for things she or her father could not afford for her.

RED FLAGS THAT WERE IGNORED

Mr. Aboli realized quite later into the relationship that Boma had at various times earlier, made it clear to him, that she wants only a soft life.

She made it clear that she was only available to be taken care of and spoilt in every way, as she was not in to suffer with any man, as she was not cut out for that.

Boma mentioned it severally to Mr. Aboli in the past, that she was never going to have anything to do with a man, who did not have a car. That she was never going to trek as a pregnant woman.

You may want to ask, why did Mr. Aboli at the time knowing that he had no car and also had no immediate plans of buying one, still stick to the relationship? Female charm and not being decisive, I guess.

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As if that was not enough, she always choked Mr. Aboli with unimaginable bills for things she wanted, after watching Instagram posts on celebrity handles.

At a point, she asked for an expensive human hair, who’s worth could buy a plot of land in some developing parts of Abakaliki town as we speak. She was visibly obsessed with what to wear even if that came at the expense of something more worthwhile.

Boma was always in a toxic competition with others. She was all about what others were going to say about her looks and outfits. These glaring signs still did not make Mr. Aboli come back to his senses unfortunately.

Eavesdropping on her call with her friend, discussing why they must only be with rich men as husbands, broke Mr. Aboli’s spirit, who was living in a room apartment at the time.

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At a point Mr. Aboli visited Port Harcourt with his Boss without mentioning it to Boma despite having spoken with her the previous day on phone, while they were dating.

The beauty goddess finally found out on her own that her man was in town. She confronted Aboli and he apologized deeply.  Boma nonetheless, ensured that she used, four doses of hot slaps that were professionally administered, to help her fiancée get his brains, well formatted and back to premium form. This was done so that he does not try such again, with a queen mother, when he paid her a visit.

Of course, she cried after administering the doses of slaps on her, about to be wedded husband, which she later soberly asked to be forgiven. I guess hormone surges were responsible for such behaviors.

CONCLUSION

Mr. Aboli’s phone gave him up, for having some funny exposures with some other Ladies, which I told him in clear terms, was so wrong of him. Boma saw it and never forgave her lover for such disrespect, although they later settled.

Boma having taken in for Mr. Aboli realized that there would be no car to do the maternity errands. This led to her terminating the pregnancy without Aboli’s consent.

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Boma has always been a hardworking Lady on her own, whose taste in most instances are outrightly outrageous.

Despite her beauty and industrious spirit, her reality is that most men come into her life but leave the moment they realize the kind of woman she is.

Therefore, we must learn to be deliberate about our persona, we must be realistic in our demands from our partners, and we must be willing to make compromises to be better in the interest of those we love. In African tradition, a woman’s beauty is deeply pitched in her character. Irrespective of our gender, we must endeavor to be at our best behavior at all times.

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They ended the relationship as her outrageous demands for the traditional rites nailed the coffin of the proposed traditional marriage. She is still out there hoping to find a man that would tolerate her and bear with her, the way she is.

Finally, we must admit that Boma’s appetite for premium things which she cannot afford at the moment is not that much of a big deal. The problem lies with a man who sees these glaring signs and still sticks with her, to break up a few months to their traditional wedding. Dear man, be deliberate about what you want in a woman and stick with it. Don’t allow anyone to waste your time and please do not waste anyone’s time also.