Just for my friends who are dealing with real life situations who are not too proud to own up to their realities.

I always love the sound of, “Hei KaTcHy, I am getting married to my man”.

That narrative gives me so much joy and I do my best to give my adult friends scopes on tips that maybe useful to them to hold down a man of their dream.

The last people I ever discuss relationship with are the people who are always quick to discard marriage conversations as not being necessary but unfortunately most of the time, at their private hours, they are wailing and asking God for a worthy man

to marry.

Personally I get lonely easily but I have devised alot of ways to circumvent that and one of them is to consistently be busy with something.

Let me tell you about this Nolly wood block buster and how it culminated in a 33+ year old Lady meeting her dream man in the most unconventional way.

This Lady I am about to write about is a Lawyer by profession who is practising in Abuja and her name is Nkwachi.

Barr. Nkwachi has seen hell in the hands of men as we (men) are always skilled at taking advantage of women who obviously want to settle down desperately, to stretch as many “walls” as are available to us.

While in her search, Nkwachi met a man called Onyeike  based in USA, who to her was everything she needed in a man.

The man in question, being smart and knowing that with your living abroad status, there are few women based in Nigeria that you cannot get into seven (7) positions in seven seconds, hauled the deceitful I would want to marry you card at Barr. Nkwachi pretty soon. Their conversation was second to non, it was compact, deep, warm and a bit sensual too. It was a full package.

Mr. Onyeike was perfect with communication, he was present in Barr. Nkwachi’s life which spontaneously made her look forward to a happy ever after with him. Umunwoke, anyị dikwanu egwu.

Did I also forget to tell you that my friend Barr. Nkwachi is an unrepentant  Zionite. KaTcHy has never been a fan of Evangelist Ebuka Obi purely, because of some of his style of utterances but my friend Barr. Nkwachi showed me a dimension of him that made me smile.

Mr. Onyeike, our abroad based man with papers, had called Barr. Nkwachi to inform her that he was coming into Nigeria for the burial of his mother or so.

Before then, Mr. Onyeike had posted online, his Mother’s death. Owing to the fact that this abroad based man had convinced my friend Barr. Nkwachi that, it was marriage straight for the both of them once he showed up, Babe went to Oga’s post about his Mum’s demise to comment,

“It’s unfortunate that I never got to meet you Ma”. This comment was made by her as a soon to be daughter inlaw.

Little did Barr. Nkwachi ever dream that this was the comment that would transform her life forever.

One thing my friend never saw or knew was that this man in question, Mr. Onyeike was married with kids.

Mr. Onyeike came to Nigeria and was battle ready to harvest this my very beautiful, intelligent and endowed Lawyer – Barr.  Nkwachi, with no mercy as it is typical of the events on the street.

For some reasons instead of going to meet Mr. Onyeike, this Lady moved over to Zion Ministry for fellowship instead and

this was how this phase passed without the man seeing Barr. Nkwachi’s bra strap or pant, to slack on his way to golgotha.

God saved Barr. Nkwachi walahi else she would have been added to the numbers of Nigerian, working class conquered women on Mr. Onyeike’s list.

As a way to escape hormone induced  assault on her walls  or as a way to seek permission from God, Barr. Nkwachi lied to Mr. Onyeike that she had flown to Lagos for a matter and would get back to him, when she is back.

Mr. Onyeike had to leave the town where my friend was and flew down to the East. He advised Barr. Nkwachi to come over and meet him in the East, after she was done with her matter in court.

It was between this schedule that the wife of our abroad based Onyeike onye ukwu ọkụ, chatted my friend Barr. Nkwachi.

During the course of the chat, it dawned on my friend Barr. Nkwachi that it was a married man that was about to shift her wall, “unknown to her”.

Barr. Nkwachi is a proud Igbo woman  when it comes to her honouring her body as a woman and being someone who would not drag a man with anybody, she blocked Mr. Onyeike who was waiting for her to fly into the East from Abuja, so that he can enjoy what he had seen only the beauty, online.

I am sure imaginations would have been ripping his gbola apart. The 7 positions in

seven seconds kind of engagement.

Then it was at this point that she went to Zion Ministry after two weeks abi months of being shattered and heart broken, to curse God exhaustively.

She called God names and told God that he was a mean man by all indices and not worth worshiping if He would allow her go through such pains in her honest search for a man to commit to as a wife.

Barr. Nkwachi even told God that, if she Nkwachi was God and God was her, that she Nkwachi would have obliged God long ago so that He would leave her alone.

She wailed and cried to God asking Him to show her favour and give her a man of her own. She even asked God to prove to her

that Evangelist Ebuka Obi is called by Him, during this trying period of hers.

It was in the midst of her confusion, that Evangelist Ebuka Obi walked upto her and talked to her for the first time ever, being a Zionite.

Evangelist Ebuka Obi told her that God had heard her and that her miracle was very close to her. That she would see that there is a God who rules over the affairs of men.

Therefore, after the prophecy was given, there was a clause. One very difficult clause if you ask me in today’s world. My friend was told to zip up ooo infinitely till she sees her own man. On no account was her wall going to be stretched by any gbola or dildo.

After some months in what looked like a movie plot, the wife of Mr. Onyeike who wanted to shag Barr. Nkwachi reached out to her ooo.

She said, that she had seen how my friend Barr. Nkwachi went extra miles to abuse her husband and distanced herself from him entirely after she subtly confronted her. Mr. Onyeike’s wife said it clearly that most Nigerian Ladies would never ever hands off of an abroad based man, ever.

She conferred on Barr. Nkwachi the status of a good woman and as a result, she told Barr. Nkwachi that she had a good man by all standards to offer her as a man who she would consider for marriage.

In what looked like a movie, they were linked up, this American citizen from a

humble background and from a great home liked everything about Barr. Nkwachi.

With my friend still trying to wake herself up from this dream, Oga had booked his ticket and was on his way to Nigeria to see a damsel who he had decided to marry. Just like that? No be juju be that?

Oga got to Nigeria, liked what he saw and immediately did the needful. They did the necessary things and boom, Oga went back to the USA where he is a citizen, filed for Barr. Nkwachi’s papers and boom, Adanne don turn American citizen just like that.

Most importantly, Barr. Nkwachi is married to a man, that ticked majority of her boxes, in what a partner should be.

The irony of it all was that this young man my friend Barr. Nkwachi married a man who hails from a community close to Nkwachi’s. It is even a walking distance.

Ụmụnne m, this is not a movie but a life event that happened to a friend. Now I have also learnt that I may not like a man of God but it doesn’t invalidate that there are alot of people the man of God is useful to, who would rather die than that ever to stop honouring such a man.

What on earth do you think can make Barr. Nkwachi to ever stop attending Zion Ministeries even overseas?

As such, this shaped alot for me in terms of perspective to issues.

©Okeh, Onyekachi 2024™

08067293300

okehonyekachic@gmail.com

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Cc; Zion Prayer Movement Outreach